STAY.AT.HOME.MUM

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I have been wanting to write a post about this for quite some time, but never got around to it. This very morning I am sitting in bed, Miss Mouse has gone to nursery for her first ever FULL day. Guilt has kicked in and it seemed a pertinent time to discuss.

I don’t work as in I DO NOT have a paid job, yes, yes of course I have a 17 month old baby and I am busy growing another but I DO NOT contribute financially to our household income. Gary has an alright paid job and we live comfortably, which generally equates to me spending too much money and have a melt down just before payday each month. I refuse to refer to myself as a STAY AT HOME MUM or SAHM! Firstly, I hate how everything you do or practice has to have a title, but that is a whole other post! So I doggedly refuse to call myself the above title. Before I got pregnant again, there was always that awkward “when do you go back to work?” question from everyone. The truthful answer is I DO NOT and did not have a job to go back to.

In 2009 we moved to South Africa with Gary’s job, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to work over there as his company were going to supply me with a spousal visa. This had a certain level of appeal, being a lady of leisure and we knew we wanted to start a family, in fact we had been trying since the beginning of 2009 to conceive. Our plan seemed to be coming together nicely, I would be able to stay at home with the baby and he would be able to support us financially. Getting pregnant wasn’t that easy and after several months of being in a foreign country with no friends, stuck in a massive house all day and no car, I was pretty bloody lonely! I got very homesick and decided I had to DO something. I got involved in two volunteer projects with charities and LOVED it. An amazing opportunity that I would never have been able to experience in the UK. I thrived and I met people, I threw myself in to different activities to meet new people and accepted every invitation to begin with. From there I met an amazing friend and her little girl is a week younger than Miss Mouse. I miss her dearly and can not tell you how important she was to me while I was in South Africa. I also formed some very strong friendships with others who became like family to me. Anyway, I digress!

In 2011 things changed quite drastically for us and Gary’s contract was not renewed as has previously been discussed, I was around 30 weeks pregnant by this time with Miss Mouse and it was quite a stressful period for us. He looked for other jobs, but nothing matched the salary he was on, this would have meant moving and to be employed with a new company meant a lengthy visa application process again. We made the difficult decision to return to the UK. As soon as we returned Gary went house hunting and job hunting and things were pretty tough for a few months as we figured out what we were doing. We always seem to land on our feet and for that I am truly grateful, don’t get me wrong we’ve been through some tough times, but it has only made us stronger as a couple and more determined to make things work for us.

Gary is the breadwinner, there is no way I can ever match his salary and he thrives on knowing that he can provide for his family. I enjoy staying at home but some days I would love to throw on a power suit, do my hair and make-up and talk strategy in the board room, but for now that is not an option. I am by no means a good house wife, Gary will often come in from a 8-6 day, bath Mouse and then make dinner for the 2 of us, he’ll do the dishes and sort the washing. He sees to Mouse every morning at breakfast and I do worry that sometimes I take him and what he does for granted when I am standing buying expensive make-up, going for lunch and buying new clothes. He is happy and I am happy, it works for us. The money is OUR money and I manage the household budget.

I’d be scared to be entering the job market again right now as all I know is nappy change times and nursery rhymes. I do believe I can have a great impact on my children by being at home with them in the early years, but I don’t believe any more so than any working mother, if my circumstances were different, I may have no choice but to work full time. I still put Mouse in nursery 2 mornings  a week, I justify this by saying that she needs to socialise, the truth is I need a break! It’s tiring and for me as a person there is only so much child care I can give without going insane! I just hate being pigeon holed or needing to justify my decision, that wasn’t really a decision, if that makes sense! Maybe the only person I am justifying it to is MYSELF!

Thanks for reading.

30 Weeks and 17 Months

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So Open University module is COMPLETE. Woohoo…if ever there was a time I NEEDED champers in my life it was the day I submitted my last assignment. It was such a RELIEF! Now, just need to wait until the results come through in December, luckily I have a few things to distract me between now and then. Thought it was time I updated you about Baby Beanz and Miss Mouse…

Baby Beanz is now 30 weeks and it’s that amazing time where the alien like movements start, especially on an evening when I am sitting doing NOTHING! She wriggles and kicks and reminds me she is there. We play little games, she follows my hand and responds to my touch and voice. It is so incredible, I now know, that it doesn’t matter whether you’ve done this before or not, it is still OUT OF THIS WORLD! People everywhere around me seem to be pregnant or having babies and thank goodness I am, otherwise I would be crazy BROODY right now. We’ve decided not to attack the new nursery until after Christmas, financially it makes more sense and she won’t be in the for the first few months, so it really makes no difference. I am fully into maternity clothes now and every now and again, I sneak on a non-maternity top, only to quickly whip it off as it won’t fit over my bump. No stretch marks to report…YET! I didn’t get any last time, so I am hoping I will be safe again this time. Daddy Beanz is helping me with my hypnobirthing techniques, the course has finished now, so it’s down to us to practice, practice, practice. Anyone reading this used it successfully through birth??

Baby Beanz Bump at 30 weeks

The beautiful Miss Mouse is now 17 months and she is such a gem. We had a bout of teething last week or so and I wanted to disown her. Then a HUGE molar appeared and all was forgiven. She is loving nursery, which is such a relief as we moved her from one that I wasn’t happy with. She gets up and ready happily and loves the workers there, so I no longer feel guilty for shipping her off 2 mornings a week! Her speech is coming on great, her vocab is amazing, she’s started on her colours now and points everything out and shouts a colour at it, usually the wrong one, but she’s trying. Counting is funny, also as she shouts the numbers in any random order and sometimes comes out with the right final number. Teaching her is such a joy to me as she clearly LOVES to learn. Painting and drawing seem to be her favourite activities of late and we have some new wall patterns to keep us entertained while she’s asleep. She has just figured out she can get out of her bed by sliding past the bed guard, we knew it was only a matter of time. Lying in bed this morning, I heard a little voice in the hallway shouting “mummy”, very cute, wandering through the dark to come and find me. I am still struggling to deal with the face grabbing she keeps doing with other kids, some days are much better than others and she just doesn’t bother. Everything is HERS and this seems to be the trigger for hurting other children. I just try and keep in mind that it is a phase, but it doesn’t really make it any less embarrassing when she does it. *sigh*

Miss Mouse at 17 months

And so, Hallowe’en is soon to be upon us, 1 party today and 1 on Monday, outfit for Mouse is sorted and then it’s countdown to Christmas….YAY!

Thanks for reading. x x

Wave Of Light…My Story

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It is days like today that you realise that very rarely you are ever truly alone. Suffering in silence can sometimes feel like the only way to survive, and yet so many others are suffering the same pain day in and day out. Baby and Infant Loss Awareness Day highlights how many people grieve for their angels that were too good for the earth.

I wanted to take this opportunity to share my story, to let it float into the universe with all the other stories of similar loss. I have suffered two early miscarriages with my husband Gary, and they have been traumatic and extremely sad, but we have learnt to deal with them and we now have a beautiful baby girl and another one on the way. We feel so blessed.

Sadly, six years ago I also lost a set of twins at 20 weeks, well I was just over 20 weeks when I went for my dating scan. At my 12 week scan they’d told me they were measuring small, but this is not uncommon with twins. My mum and sister came with me to the scan. After the initial shock of being told I was pregnant with not 1 but 2 babies I made the difficult decision to choose to bring them up solo. I knew it was going to be tough but the father had said he would support me financially, but that was as far as his involvement would go. I didn’t judge him, I just knew I would look after these babies the best I could with the support of my family and friends.

2 days before my dating scan I didn’t feel the babies move as they usually did in the morning, this followed a week of sickness, nothing too unusual and I thought it would be ok as I was going for my scan on the Tuesday. The morning of my scan my bump had changed, it was very soft and I knew in my heart something wasn’t right. As I lay on the bed the sonographer quickly moved around and turned the screen towards herself. My mum and sister were so excited to see the 2 babies, the sonographer turned to me and said “I’m sorry”, I weakly replied “Is it both of them?”

“Yes” she said, and told us that she would need to go and get the consultant. My mum and sister were completely unaware of what was going on and I had to explain that my babies had died. My sister had brought her 3 month old son, my nephew with her. They were shocked, I broke down. They shuffled us into a room adjacent, I got a glimpse of all the excited mummies to be in the waiting room. I was numb. We sat in the room and waited for what seemed like an eternity. In my head I thought they’d perform some operation to get the babies out and fully expected to be kept in hospital.

They explained I needed to give birth and they would bring me in on Saturday for this to happen. I didn’t understand, they expected me to walk around for 4 days with dead babies inside of me? No they needed to come out then and there. They were gentle and kind and told me this was the only way it could happen. I couldn’t look at my sister or my nephew. I was angry. Led through the waiting room I wanted to scream.

My mum took me to the GP to get something to help me sleep/calm me down, I’m not sure now, she did all the talking. I sat in the waiting room, thinking why my body had done this, what had I done wrong, why didn’t I deserve this, maybe I hadn’t eaten enough fruit and veg. I dared anyone to mention my bump, so I could be angry with them instead of myself.

I hid until Friday night, when I had to go into the Maternity department, yep that’s right the maternity department to be given a tablet to help get me started, I came and went, head hung and then was told to come back at 8am on the Saturday morning for another tablet. My mum came with me, we were shown to my room, we sat, we read, we laughed, we cried, we wrote, we mourned. Contractions started around 5pm and they were manageable, I took paracetamol, by 7.30pm I was in established labour, the midwife told me I didn’t need to be a hero and offered me a shot of something stronger, which I later regretted as it made me so sick. I delivered my first baby at 8pm and the second one came about 7 minutes later. I was scared that I wouldn’t want to see them, scared of how they’d look and feel. Something took over and I became a mother that evening and I held my babies, dead or alive they were my babies and I was so proud of them. They offered to take them away, clean them up, take some photos and foot prints and then they could bring them back if I wanted. I agreed. Then I was violently sick.

They brought them back in a small basket, they were 2 beautiful girls, with amazing long fingers, features were all there and they were just perfect. I held them and kissed them and hugged them. My family came, and held them and touched them. They were proud. I named the girls, the first and much larger “Angie” after my mum Angela, because she had been my rock, and held my hand every step of the way without asking any questions or judging me and my smaller daughter “Talullah”. I have their book with their photos and handprints and all their tiny little details.

They left my babies with me all night, I managed a couple of hours sleep, but I wanted to spend as much time as was possible with them, I could catch up on the sleep, I knew they had to leave me in the morning. That was probably the hardest part of it all, saying goodbye then. I hid away for a couple of weeks, didn’t eat much, didn’t talk much and slept an awful lot, thanks to all the medication. Twin to twin transfusion syndrome was the diagnosis and I let my babies physical bodies go to a university for research. Now I’ve been blessed with 2 girls, I can only dream that they have in some way come back to me. I think about them everyday and often wonder whether it was for the best, looking back. Whatever, the pain was horrendous and I feel for anyone who has suffered the same or similar pain, luckily we are not alone. We never are.

Sending love to all the parents of baby angels. x x

I’m Sorry…

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Dear Blog (and anyone that can be arsed reading it),

I am truly sorry that I have been neglecting you of late. I have lots of excuses that I will attempt to share with you. Also, I want you to know that this is only temporary and I will endeavour to pay you more attention in the next few weeks and months, only I need you to understand that it is not personal, it’s me NOT you. It seems that to make myself appear more interesting than I truly am, I decide to fill my small and meaningless life with lots of seemingly important and interesting things.

Firstly, I have just under two weeks to complete my final assignment for my Open University course and as usual I have left it to the VERY last minute to do and I am stressing like you wouldn’t believe. Let me get through this and get it submitted and things will seem a lot easier and brighter. I am struggling to find what I want to say in my assignment, something that seems to be reflected in many areas of my life right now, but that is a WHOLE other blog!

My next excuse is that I have been doing my Hypnobirthing course over 5 weeks and I have just two weeks left, this has meant LOTS and LOTS of breathing and relaxation practice and a book to read in that time too. Trying to get the practice in while hubs is around and absorb everything I need to before bubba number two shows her gorgeous face is proving taxing. This is both time consuming and seems to have brought up a few demons along the way. Luckily, those demons are being dealt with and I am moving forward in a positive way.

Oh yea and then there is the small matter of Miss Mouse, she erm, seems to be getting ever so slightly, erm, how do I say this…DEMANDING? I am sure she is becoming more aware that our ALONE time is limited and therefore is pulling all strings possible to PUSH me over the proverbial edge. It doesn’t seem to take much these days, I dread to think what my mental state would be like if I wasn’t practising relaxation techniques every few hours.

And lastly, I will use my growing body as an excuse, my +1 seems to drain my mental and physical energy, so by 7pm when the delightful Miss Mouse is asleep, my body cares for nothing more than a comfy sofa, trashy TV and large brew. Baby bump is growing nicely and I have lots I’d like to tell you in more detail and lots of photo’s I’d like to share, but I just don’t seem to get around to uploading and sharing. All in good time.

Anyway, I hope you accept my humble apologies and believe me when I say this distance between us won’t last forever, you are always in my thoughts and I do care for you deeply, I just wish I had more hours in my day or perhaps more brain space at the end of my day but life is taking over at the moment and I hope you accept my pathetic excuses.

All my love

Jodes x x

We Went Public!

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I had the pleasure of Maisy’s first PUBLIC tantrum this week. I had meant to blog immediately after this horrendous experience, but as per life got in the way and a few days have passed since the incident. However, the memory is one that will last forever!

I had a few bits and pieces I NEEDED to get at Hobby Craft (a new one has just opened up, slightly too close to my house) and it happens to be in the same complex as Toys R Us. I decided it would be a good idea to pop in and have a look at a couple of things in preparation for Christmas. All was going well in the land of wonder and Miss Mouse was happily pulling dolls and related paraphernalia on to the floor and biting random teddies and other such soft toys. Then she spotted the bikes.

She is obsessed with them, if someone cycles by she goes crazy, shouting “BIKE, BIKE”. It has become a bit frightening in the park with little kids on their little bikes, she’s runs after them trying to catch them and I can only presume with every intention of stealing their bikes! I digress. As she begins to shuffle along the aisle in between Barbie Princess bikes and the all singing and dancing ones, she picks out a bike that is green and blue and designed for a boy. Typical I think, she would probably choose a tractor or digger over car. 

I browse the shelves nearby safe in the knowledge we’re going to be here a while. Hubs helps her on a couple of the bikes and smart trikes and she seems very pleased with herself. Time passes and we need to start heading home in time for her lunch. I explain to her we need to pay and go to the car in 5 minutes. She does of course at almost 16 months of age have no concept of time, but it makes me feel like a reasonable parent if I tell her the plan. Then a 2 minute warning and then crunch time, it’s time to make our way to the till.

All hell breaks loose. Hubs attempts to pick her up and she is arching her back, screaming “NOOOO”, grabbing his face and slapping him. I can tell hubs is a bit embarrassed as this is the first time we’ve had to deal with this in public. We’ve had the paddy’s at home and you can walk in to another room and wait until she has calmed down. Ever so slightly different in a full shop of other parents. I try and reason with Miss Mouse and let her know that I’m going to put her in her pusher and we’re heading home. This of course, makes no difference and only increases the volume of the screaming and screeching.

I take Miss Mouse from hubs and tell him to go and pay, I’ll sort her out. I then find myself fighting with her as she stiffens her whole body as I am trying to fasten her into her pusher. Nearing the till and she is still in full tantrum swing, the couple in front of us in the queue have that knowing, sympathetic look on them. Meanwhile I am trying to be the diplomatic mum, reasoning and explaining to my child what we’re doing. As I do, I am struck by how freaking embarrassing the whole situation is and how difficult it is remaining remotely calm under the mounting pressure. I am questioning my parenting, should I have brought her to a child’s wonderland and expected her to understand that we were only looking. Then I decide bribery is my only option… raisins! Shit! I’ve left them in the car. So not only am I trying to calm her down, I’ve resorted to bribery and now false hope. Time seemed to stand still and it dawned on me that, however embarrassing I was finding this, THIS was only the beginning. 

The reality of the impact of this temper tantrum hits me, how I respond to THIS child, THIS day will affect the rest of her life! God, I’m not sure if I am up for this parenting lark. I was happy with shitty nappies, sick stained clothes, bleeding nipples and a crying baby. Now it’s all changed, my response can cause ripples that she will no doubt use against me in her angst teenage years.

We make it out the shop alive and I have a very sour faced little girl the whole way home. Yet another layer of guilt to add to my already burdened down rucksack of motherhood guilt. Ugh, the shame. And so, I assume the terrible two’s begin, albeit 8 months early! How can I handle these situations without feeling like a fool, a bad parent or an embarrassment? Especially, when all I wanted to do was tell her off and tell her to stop her bloody carry on!

Where Is The Love?

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I love my husband dearly, he cares for me in every way possible, I literally want for nothing. Sometimes, I find this just a little suffocating though! I know I am more grumpy because I am pregnant, but it seems the grumpier I am the more he “tries” to please me. All I want is to be left alone, left alone to my miserable self and when I am good and ready then I will smile and laugh and act like a happy wife. But for now, for god’s sake give me some space.

For instance, last night we’re sitting on the sofa, shitty TV on it the background and he’s engrossed in some game on his phone and I am busy minding my own business, tweeting and the like. Suddenly, he slides on over to my SIDE of the sofa and puts his face in my phone and asks “what you doing?”

I think it’s pretty freaking obvious what I’m doing. I’ll tell you what I am not doing, I am NOT having a conversation with you and I am NOT getting amourous with you! 

“Nothing much, you?” I reply. “Just thought I’d come over here and say HI and have some cuddles”. I attempt at this point to be completely disinterested in anything he has just said and carry on with my phone. Oh, but he’s still there, right in my space, breathing on me, chatting to me and just generally pissing me off! Eventually he gets the hint and slides to his end of the sofa. I am sorry if you are sitting there reading this thinking what a bitch I am, all he wants is some affection. Yes I know that but hello, I am with child, feeling very uncomfortable and moody, he needs to get his affection fill elsewhere.

In Paris a couple of months ago, small PDA’s were acceptable for photo purposes only!

We head to bed a little later and he asks politely if I’d like a snuggle, I mumble some half arsed reply, and yet there he is arms and legs all over me. I try and explain very gently that I am feeling very uncomfy tonight perhaps not so much arm over my belly action as I am feeling a little restrained. He obliges and then about half an hour later tries to do exactly the same thing. Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Don’t get me wrong I love cuddling and affection, but I have always been a person that needs their own space and very aware of my personal space. Why do our other halfs assume that because we are together we must also be all over each other and that my rules about personal space don’t apply to him?? As I explained to him yesterday sharing my body with one other person at any one time is more than enough, thank you!

21 Weeks and 15 Months

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I have second pregnancy syndrome, where you don’t give the growing bump the same attention you gave the first one. I remember when I was pregnant with Miss Mouse, we discussed what she was doing every single day, talking to her and imagining what life was going to be like when she arrived. This time around, it seems less exciting and for that I feel bad. We wanted another baby quickly and yet somehow the reality of that decision seems VERY troubling. As each week goes by, we almost forget that we are another week pregnant and we seem to celebrate half heartedly by finding out what the baby has grown that week.

Baby Number 2, 21 week Bump

So we’ve made it to 21 weeks, well almost 22 now and she seems happy enough hiding away in my womb, not bothering me too much apart from making me need to wee loads. Much more than I remember with Miss Mouse. Then she seems to wait until everyone else is settled on an evening and BOOM! She is awake, kicking and turning and punching and reminding me that she is still there and in need of some attention. It feels like that’s the only time she gets to be noticed properly without her 15 month old sister jumping on her on prodding her or screaming about something inconsequential. That seemingly brief half an hour to an hour on an evening seem so precious and I always feel quite sad that it’s maybe the only recognition I’ve given her all day. I know this will all change when she arrives but I can’t help but feel I should be paying her more attention.

My cheeky 15 month old

Miss Mouse has made it to 15 months and don’t we know it? This last couple of months she seems to be absorbing so much, everyday is pretty amazing with her. It tires me, trying to keep up with her thirst for knowledge. She is saying so many words and putting two or three words together, she asks what things are by pointing at them so she can copy what you say. She is counting to ten with some help and loves sitting at her little table to scribble away. Bedtimes are getting easier, we were going through a phase of not settling for over an hour but most nights it’s about 20 minutes. Horrid molars are causing her pain and we’ve had a couple of very grumpy days where only Mummy cuddles seem to help.

My gorgeous girl

Miss Mouse starts nursery in three weeks and although I’ll be sad, I think she is ready for it and I need a break! She will only be going two mornings a week but I need to do something other than sing nursery rhymes and draw flowers for a while.

I know I am biased but everyday she makes me smile and laugh and reminds me what a blessing she is to us. I can’t really get my head around having two small people around and being able to love another as much as I love Mouse. How does it work?

Just So…

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We spent yesterday at the Just So Festival in Cheshire, we deliberated for ages about whether to go or not as the tickets are quite pricey and we didn’t know if Miss Mouse was going to be a bit young, although under 3’s went free. We took the plunge and purchased the tickets on Saturday, looked at the programme and picked out a few things that we knew Miss Mouse would like. Take a little look at their website, www.justsofestival.org.uk it’s pretty cool. The idea behind it is that it’s child friendly festival and being festival goer’s ourselves pre-parenthood, we’re always keen to find things that muster up that same feeling of togetherness and community but that are safe and suitable for children.

Early start!

We weren’t really sure what to expect and we packed up the car with summer and winter clothes, shoes, wellies, waterproofs, child carriers, pushchairs, food, drinks, rugs, towels, camp chairs, etc, etc. We also took my little car as the service light had come on in Gary’s the day before. I’m pretty sure the back end was trailing a little on the floor with all the “just in case” stuff we’d tried to cram in! It was only 45 minute journey and easy to find, we used the baby carrier to begin with as we worried that ground would be too muddy or to rough with the pushchair and I’d read the festival was quite a walk from the car park. It wasn’t really very far at all and Miss Mouse came out of the carrier as soon as we got to the festival. There was so much to take in at first and we kind of wandered around aimlessly not really sure what to do with ourselves. Eventually we bought a programme and took Miss Mouse to all the under 3 stuff. It was ok, but perhaps a little young for her. Next we ventured into “The Wild Things” set in the trees with den building going on, too old for Mouse, to be honest she was more than happy foraging in the sticks and eating stuff off the ground. There were beds dotted around and lamps hanging from trees all very magical and inspiring.

Smile!

We wandered over to a makeshift choir and I was happily getting involved with the singing and dancing as was Mouse. Gary was slightly more reluctant but seemed to loosen up and join in as we went on. We learnt a couple of new songs and then the leader dropped it on us that she wanted us to perform in front of people in the main are. The performer in me leaped for joy! Hooray, I’d been discovered! I seen the panic across Gary’s face and he said “are we doing that?” “why not?” I replied and off we went. We loved it and so did Miss Mouse, grooving the African song we were belting out, no idea what the words meant but it didn’t really matter.

We wandered and watched some more, the heavens opened, we changed into out “wet” gear and headed for some lunch. Loads to choose from, queues weren’t ridiculous as I think loads took their own food, especially if they were camping, only downside was we had to eat in the rain as there were no seats in the sheltered area. Just meant we ate fast! Washed down with hot chocolate topped with cream…YUM!

Me and my growing bump…next year there’ll be 4! Not sure I’m ready!

We went for a bit of a boogie in Jittabugs and Miss Mouse was starting to get grumpy with tiredness, so we bunged her in her pusher and strolled around the whole of the festival site while she had a snooze. Through pirate training and discovering fairy queens, I wished Miss Mouse was a little older to fully appreciate it. We had a lovely day all in all, a tad expensive, but very well thought out and put together. We will most definitely be going next year, possibly camping but we’ll check the weather nearer the time as I am a fair weather camper!

Things I’m Loving Right Now…

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Doesn’t the sunshine make you feel so happy? I feel like I am on cloud 9, I also have loads of things to be happy for and therefore have an added bounce in my step right now. Here are a few things that are making me smile…

Who isn’t loving this weather? I get to play outside with Miss Mouse and tire her out more, so she sleeps better. I am getting to wear all my summer dresses which are so much more comfy than too tight jeans or maternity trousers that continually fall down. I just love the sun kissing my skin and immediately feeling my vitamin D levels increase.

LOVING the Olympics, it’s made me feel so proud to be British and I think we’re doing a fantastic job as host nation. For such a small nation we are doing so well and I admire all the athletes taking part and giving everything they’ve got. GO TEAM GB!

I am ploughing through Goldie Hawn’s book “10 Mindful Minutes” it’s half price on Amazon at the minute, an excellent investment I’d say. Nice and simple and easy to understand for the less intelligent among us, i.e ME! Some startling statistics regarding children in the UK being some of the unhappiest in the world. I look at Miss Mouse and I just wonder how that’s possible, all she seems to do is smile, long may it last!

I am loving finally getting some multi vitamins that don’t make me heave after I’ve taken them. Recommended by my good friend Amy Davis, check out her site www.greathealthnaturally.co.uk she is so knowledgeable and so helpful, she alway brightens my day. She has previously helped me with Gary’s diet and skin condition and has helped me with Miss Mouse and making sure she has the right supplements. I really struggled taking any supplements previous to “Garden of Life Vitamin Code Raw Prenatal” but they’re are 100% natural and my body agrees. One less thing to worry about being pregnant.

Of course, I am loving being pregnant and very happy at the news of another girl, feeling very blessed.

And finally…I am loving my yoga. I managed to get to a class last night and enjoyed it so much, it’s not a pregnancy specific class, but I felt so relaxed and stretched afterwards. Miss Mouse and I also do Toddler Yoga on Monday’s which I love too, she does an awesome downward dog, I wish I had her flexibility!

All in all I am one happy bunny…what’s making you happy right now? x x

Pink Or Blue?

To know or not to know? Let me tell you I am firstly far too nosey and secondly I like to be organised, so YES I want to know what sex my baby will be. More importantly baby number 2 is absolutely fine, heart beating, and all as it should be.

We just got back from the hospital about half an hour ago, have let the family know the news and now it’s sinking in. Baby was fast asleep when we first went in and we could only see the spine and back of the head so we were sent away to have a sugar fix to get things moving. I was of course worried by this and was suspecting something more sinister, but Gary assured me he had seen the heartbeat and a few little hand movements. We returned after a quick sugar fix and of course baby was then doing it’s own version of they Olympics in my tummy.

And so…..to my disappointment (only because it means I have lost a bet to my husband) we have been blessed with another gorgeous baby girl. I am shocked as I was convinced it was a boy as I am carrying so different to Miss Mouse, but now it’s sinking in I am over the moon. I would have been made up either way, this way it’s just a bit cheaper! YAY!

Now I can sort that box of clothes that’s been hanging around in my spare room and start organising the nursery and making lists and planning and cleaning and oooooh just generally getting ready for the arrival of my second daughter. Eeeeeeeek!