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Dear Mum and Dad (yea I’m almost 2 and a half and I’ll shorten your names if I want to),

I love you both sooooo much but there are a few things which I’d like out in the open. I’ve been pondering the best way to tackle these issues and I have tried to demonstrate by my behaviour how unhappy I am with a few things, but to no avail! Hence this letter. Please don’t take offence, it’s nothing personal, given my chance over again, I’d defo still choose you two as parents but I just need you to see my end of the deal.

Where to start, oooh I know SLEEP, yup you know that thing you try and make me do twice a day under the guise of it being a benefit to me! I get it, I know I need to sleep but I don’t want to, I know I’m missing out on something, I know you’ll be dancing in the kitchen, drinking tea and scoffing cake. I’m not stupid! When you tell me you’re going for a rest too, it’s rubbish, I know! You’ll be busy playing with my little sister while I’m in the land of nod. To make things worse, you’ll come and wake me when YOU think I’ve had enough sleep, scared I won’t sleep at night. Have I ever not slept at night? No, so leave me sleeping, PLEASE! If for some crazy reason you DO have to wake me up, don’t be so flipping happy about it. Imagine me bursting into your bedroom while you’re fast asleep, singing and waving and just being generally jolly…. You get my point.

Next, I am not a performing monkey. Contrary to popular opinion I do not like performing to friends and family. So I sing a new song at home, it doesn’t mean I want to stand on a home made stage with everyone watching, busting out my dance moves to all and sundry. I can count to 20, I can write some letters and numbers and I know my alphabet, but that’s for me to practice in the privacy of my own home.

Ok, here goes… the whole here’s your new little sister deal! Yup, you guessed it I’m totally not in a good space about that bomb you dropped on me. There we were quite happy just the 3 of us, you were pretty fat mum, but I could deal with that, off I go to nursery one day, come home and there’s a baby in the house. She’s pretty cute don’t get me wrong, but she’s just always there. She gets the cuddles first, special feeding time with you, she’s cries, you run, spoon fed, dressed, meantime I’m just figuring out why her needs override all of mine. She is growing on me and we have started playing together and laughing at stuff only sisters can, but she’s starting to get around now and touching my things! Not so cool! She pumps and everyone laughs, she can’t even talk and you guys think it’s amazing that she gurgles and giggles. I’m busy doing Monet style works of art and they don’t even get wall space. So, I figured if I behave more like her, you’ll give me the attention I need, but it seems to make it worse, you tell me to stop acting like a baby, I just don’t get it. What do you want from me??

That leads me nicely on to SHARING. Let me make this perfectly clear, I DON’T want to share my toys, they are mine, you made that very clear when you gave them to me and now you’re all like, “it’s nice to share”! So…share your stuff then, ah no I forget this is a one way street. I’m not allowed to touch your make up or play with your handbags and shoes (and those are just dad’s) laptops or phones because they are yours! You can see my confusion folks. Please back up on making me share, when I want to I will, until then leave me be.

SORRY. Yup a tiny little word that really doesn’t mean an awful lot to me. You keep trying to make me say it, well I have news for you, most of the time I’m not sorry, hence my reluctance to say it. If it gets you off my case and gets me the toy back that you just confiscated then sure I’ll indulge you but be warned I don’t really mean it. You start saying sorry for all the times you promise me something and don’t deliver, or when you change the goal posts half way through a project, or move something without telling me, or making me do things I don’t like. Let’s be straight here guys, if you didn’t make me share, I wouldn’t hit that kid that nicked my toy…Then I wouldn’t be standing there being forced to say sorry for taking something that is MINE!

Mum and dad I know there is a lot here for you to take in, but it’s coming from a good place, I want us all to get along, you just need to cut me some slack on some things, and on others you need to be clear, direct and stick to what you say. Am I asking too much? Set the boundaries and follow them through, it’s the only way I will learn. Don’t avoid conflict or confrontation with me, I need it. I need to know what’s negotiable and what’s not. I need to know, when you say yes or no you mean it. I hope we can all move forward in an honest and loving way.

I look forward to hearing from you both.

Love your (first) daughter

Miss Mouse xxx