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It almost seems out of freaking nowhere I am at the end of my pregnancy. Boom! 39 weeks, in a way I’m glad as it’s given me a massive kick up the arse to get organised. I was kinda putting everything off until after Christmas, which has been and gone (’twas lovely by the way) and now all excuses aside I’ve finally started to accept there will be a new baby in the house within the next 3 weeks.

Fact is I’m massive now, uncomfy, fat, swollen, moany, some would say not different to normal. I’m trying to be very positive and embrace my curves, but I get pissed off every time I try and put a pair of socks or shoes on! Having a 19 month old in tow just increases my frustration. Asking for carries and the constant tidying up is such a drain.

As I’ve started my new baby preparations I’ve got excited, a couple of friends have had babies and the smell has evoked super broodiness and I am excited to meet my little angel and watch her intently for hours on end, when she’s not really doing much at all but being a baby. Then there are the sleepless nights of hours of breastfeeding to look forward to, the inconsolable crying that makes you want to rip your hair our, the possible jealous spouse ready to strangle the newborn as soon as mummy isn’t looking. Mixed emotions would be an understatement.

I’ve been washing and cleaning like a crazy woman, finding jobs that don’t even exist! My washer hasn’t stopped for about a week and the radiators are full of teeny tiny baby clothes. Dinky nappies and maternity pads are spilling out of drawers and nipple creams bought in bulk. Hypnobirthing practice at least twice a day and lists after lists after lists after lists. I swing from moments of calm and tranquility to sheer manic panic!

Miss Mouse is probably thoroughly fed up of all the baby talk! She called me “fat” the other day…yea cheers for that! She is doing great though and now knows her alphabet and counts up to 14. She’s nailed her colours and her conversations are funny and witty. She manages to make me laugh everyday even the days when I’ve wanted to run so far away and never return, she’s reminded me why I’m putting myself through what I’m currently putting myself through. The sparkle in her eyes when she tells me she loves me, the sincerity in her hug when she cuddles me in the morning, the pride in her face when she’s done something new for the first time and that amazing smile when I go to pick her up from nursery. I’ll miss it being just her and I but must remind myself we’re giving her a sister not taking anything away from her.

Oh by the way….happy new year, may it be a good one, I know mine will be tough but tremendous, filled with beautiful memories…

Love Jodes xx